It has been exactly five days since I am back to my home country. Nothing has changed really, except that now I live in another house. But besides that the people are the same; the places look the same, and literally everything is just as it was the day I had left off.
Naturally, I miss US because
I had such great time there. That one-year made me feel like it had been my
home all along. I never felt like an outsider. I fit better in that society.
Being back feels different.
Even though everything is the same, I feel changed and that changes everything
for me. I try to not think about how my
life was over there because it makes me feel so sad, it makes me miss
everything.
But there are certain things
that JUST remind me of it.
Especially, the bathroom
switch. Fun fact about me: I go to the
bathroom at least 80 times a day, no joke. Sometimes, for actually using it and
the rest of the times for a casual trip to comb my hair, or just enter and
forget what I came for or to take a selfie or just to find peace. My light
switch of the bathroom was on my right side, so whenever I entered I would slam
the switch with my right hand and the room would light up (obviously). Since I
go to the bathroom at least 80 per day, I was now so used to entering and
switching on the light that I could do in my sleep. It was so engrained in me
to tap the right side of the bathroom wall when I entered. But now, in house I live, the switch is on
the left side. I never really thought about it, I mean who thinks about where
switchboard is located?
Honestly, I try to not think
much about what I left behind in US, it will only make me nostalgic and that’s
not a very good feeling. I talk to my
friends there very often but we talk about stuff that we are doing or stuff
that we planning to do not what we did together in past. It makes it a lot
easier to move on.
But that switchboard… Every
time I enter the bathroom I slam the right side of the wall, feel no switch and
then a there is a small reminder in my head that I have come back. I wait for a
second till it hits me again and then turn to the left and switch on the light.
I have been going through this everyday since 5 days and knowing I go 80 times
a day, do the math of how many times I have these reminders. And sometimes it
only takes a small reminder to bring back ALL memories.
Even while writing this, my
brain is flooding with them. I remember my last day; I was spending it with my
closest friends. It was around 11 in the night and we were looking at each other
faces, knowing it would be the last time in years. I wouldn’t be lying when I
say that going to US was the best
experience I had in my life up till now and I wouldn’t be lying when I say
that I met the best people over there, the kind that leave a mark on your heart
that no time can fade.
While most of the time it is
HEARTBREAKING to realize that there is no switch on the right side of the wall
it is a bittersweet reminder of the time I spent in the US. I hope that I never
get used to hitting the switch of the left side without hitting wall on the
right first.
