We are only humans.
No matter how kind we might consider ourselves to be, we
will encounter people in our life that we absolutely detest.
I consider myself to be a good human being.
And yet, I am surprised at how hateful I could be towards a
person that I dislike.
I got so consumed with hatred, that I am unable to focus
on the things I love.
I am sure you know this feeling. A feeling of intense
resentment towards a person to a point where you start wishing ill for them
just so they can learn a ‘lesson’.
Until my dear friend, Devyani told me, “Think about yourself
first. How is you hating her affecting her? Its not, but it sure is affecting
you. So for yourself, quit hating”.
And then it hit me. The world is an amazing place, but
unfair things happen all the time and we must be prepared to deal with situations that
are not in our favor.
I’m not saying that we shouldn’t dislike people. Because that
might be the “right” thing but it’s not the most human thing. However, we can
learn to control our emotion.
Trust me, this has been an uncomfortable experience for me and
I want to share it because I am sure there are people like me who go through
similar stuff….and I want to be a Devyani in their life. Someone who
understands how a strong, negative emotion can corrode oneself. Someone who
wants to help.
My take on hate- treat it like a passing emotion. It’s
impossible to not get these feelings at all. But just as how we cure
hunger with food. Cure hate with love. Devote more time to doing things that
you love instead of using that energy to think badly of someone.
If you have been wronged, don’t keep victimizing yourself
because that will only make you blame the person who has wronged you. And we
don’t want to do that because if someone is bad, it’s his/her problem. Why upset yourself for that?
Solution- Acknowledge. Accept. Move on.
Even as I type this, I feel more and more relieved.
It is challenging but getting rid of negativity will always unburden the mind.
You can’t change anyone. But you can change yourself.
And after I finish typing out the last word of this blog
post I make a promise to change the way I feel.
Thank you Devyani for triggering this feeling.
