Train Time Lovers

GAY- a term more often used to derogate a straight man than to actually describe a homosexual.

It has become such an ingrained part of our vocabulary to use ‘gay’ in synonym of ‘stupid’ that at the back of our head we have formed a notion that being gay is something to be looked down upon.

I for one am a greater supporter of LGBT, or I would say, I am a great supporter of ANY sort of expression of love. I believe it’s a luxury for everybody, irrespective of his/her gender or class.

India is definitely progressing when it comes to being sensitive towards this issue. But the progress is restricted to a very small percentage of the population-the rich or the educated.

There is a large population who think it’s just UNNATURAL or ABNORMAL to be gay.

Every Sunday I take the train from Grant Road to Santa Cruz Station for my class. Since it’s a holiday for most people, I quite enjoy the ride as there are hardly any people in the compartment and so its not cramped like it is on working days.

I sat on the window seat, put my earphones on and looked outside.

I felt an elbow touch my neck, so instinctively I turned around and responded ‘pccch’. 

I thought for a moment that it’s a man trying to bother me. But when I turned around I saw that the man was actually putting his arm around another man and in the process he elbowed me. My reaction made him and his friend switch to the opposite seat. I felt guilty for reacting that way.

As an Indian girl, by default, I identify men from underprivileged background as lecherous. The sort of incidents that happen with girls in India just makes you think in a certain way.

My back was turned towards the two men. I just looked behind to see if they had taken any offense to my behavior. But for them, nothing seemed to matter. The taller man had wrapped one arm around the shorter man and held his hand with the second arm.  They were looking into each other eyes and blushing and talking.

I quickly turned back into my position because I didn’t want to look too creepy or intrusive.

I turned towards them again, and saw that the one of them had put his head of the other ones shoulder. It was very sweet and romantic the way they were with each other.

The train stopped at the next station, and more people hopped it. I took this opportunity to change my seat so that I could face them. I enjoyed looking at them. It made me feel happy.

But there were others in the train that were frowning at them. That level of intimacy disgusted other men. I guess both of them got the hint, because the next station they got down and went and sat in the luggage compartment, hand in hand.

Gay men that are represented in media are often from the fashion industry. There is hardly any representation of lower class gay men, which is what made me observe them so carefully.

It’s so strange that something like domestic violence that isn’t normal, is naturalized in our society, and yet something that is natural isn’t normalized.

I am glad that I saw them. It only reinforced my belief that LOVE IS LOVE.

Taxi Driver

A large portion of my pocket money goes into travelling. Since there is no train station close to where I live, most of my commuting is done by cab. Uber/Ola, yes but mostly the classic Kaali Peeli.
I am a very talkative person, so if I am alone in the taxi, I sit in front and make conversation with the driver uncle. I find no shame in doing so. I say this because I have noticed that privileged people look down upon those who they think don't have a white collar job. People are so rude to drivers and maids just because they live a different lifestyle.
What really shocks me is that the people who are so impolite with drivers and maids are young students who aren't   really making any money of their own but are discriminating on those basis. In a country like India, the only difference between a beggar child and us is the house we were born into. Besides that, we are born equal and should be treated and treat others with the same level of dignity and respect.
Today the Taxi Driver who dropped me home  was an interesting man. He was wearing these cool sunglasses and playing the latest songs. I asked him if he was playing the music from the radio or mobile. He said mobile. Then I asked if he could turn up the volume, and he said that I can hold his phone close to my ear and enjoy the music. I thought that was very considerate of him, because most taxi drivers just want to take you from point A to point B, but this guy wanted me to enjoy my ride. And I did. All through marine drive I sang along and let the breeze massage my face. In the middle he got a call from the man who had rented out his taxi from. He said 'I am driving right now, I will call you in 10 mins... or wait, you call me 10 mins because I don't have balance'. Then he turned around and handed me the phone again and said 'These guys want to argue on the phone every time they call, so why waste balance'. I laughed and agreed. Its true, We spend too much time and energy on people who don't add value to our life. I for one, keep thinking about incidents that have hurt my feelings over and over again. Why should I waste my 'balance' on things that don't help me or make me feel good?

I have a problem with right and left. It takes me a while to figure out whats right and whats left. So I always wear a rubber band on my right wrist so I knownthats the right side.l. But since I was in the taxi with an open window, I used the rubber band to tie my hair. When we entered the lane for my house, I told him to take a left turn instead of right. And then when he did take a left turn, I immediately said 'Sorry Uncle, right'. I do this a lot. I make these mistakes all the time. Usually the drivers make an irritated 'pcccch' sound or crib. But this one, just smiled at my stupidity and took the right turn. While getting out he asked me if college admissions had started (since college is where I took the cab from).I told him they have and asked him who was he asking for. He proudly told me that his daughter scored a 95% and wanted to take admission in Jai Hind College. I congratulated him, paid him ₹104 for the ride and said thanks. He smiled with his cool sunglasses. I was waiting for the lift but I could hear him talk (rather argue) on the phone to the guy who had called earlier.


I like meeting people who are polite and kind. I hate to add this negative connotation to the blog but I come across so many people who thoughtlessly pass rude comments or hurt other's feelings just to feel superior about themselves. Its frustrating to see people who so self absorbed that they fail to pay attention to the way they make others feel around them. I am sure I have done that and others have to. But if you're reading this, consciously try and not make someone feel bad about themselves. Its not the big things that matter, but the small acts of kindness that mean something big to someone. Be this Taxi Driver in someone's life and be the reason they enjoy their journey of life.

This Experience Was Priceless

I went to Japan over the summers.  If I were to ever make a list of my top 10 best memories, 8 of them would be the ones that I made during this trip, which is why it wouldn’t be fair to not write a blog post about it.

Japan is an interesting place. It has amazing transportation service, good food, and fun places to visit like Dog and Cat cafes. Most people in Japan don’t know English so it’s funny to communicate with them. However, for some reason that too adds to the experience of living in a foreign country. But the best thing about Japan was Dhanisha.

It doesn’t matter where you go, it matters who you go with and I was lucky enough to have the company of my two best friends.   The first thing that pops in my head when I hear about 3 friends going somewhere is the movie Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara. Even though our trip didn’t involve scuba diving or sky diving, it was equally fun.

You know when you’re in the company of good people; you thrive to be a better person yourself. You want to be a better person so you can offer that goodness to others. At so many points in the trip I just admired how my friends are and wanted to be a better person myself so I can give back the happiness, the respect, the laughter that they kept giving.

When you have 20 days with the your close friends, you end up talking about things that you otherwise wouldn’t. For example, our fears, everyone has but most of us are in denial of them. We do not want to share or talk about our fears because they are vulnerable subjects. But when you finally talk about it, it frees you. I fear being a negative person. To make this more precise, I feel like I always put people down. Many things that I say I feel like I make others feel inferior and make myself look superior. I don’t intentionally want to make anyone feel like that, but yet everything I say speaks otherwise. Sharing this problem did two things:

)         1)Made me accept I have a problem

       2)Work towards changing it

 Most of the people in Japan travel in trains. Trains are very convenient there, it goes to every place. And the stations are so quiet. People don’t make a lot of noise. In fact, there is hardly any chatter in the trains too.

The days we would come back late home, we would stop at a Family Mart and I would buy these amazing noodles. I am sure they are the reason why I have gained three and a half kgs of weight. In the night when it gets chilly, I would be eating noodles with chopsticks that I don’t know how to use and catching up on speed with Dhanisha and Khushboo. Those noodles were made by God himself.

The longer I stayed in this place, the fonder I grew of it. I would love to wake up next to my friends. Everyday was a new day to do something crazy.

Ill be forever grateful for this, to my parents for giving me the best birthday gift, to Dhanisha’s parents and to Khushboo and Dhanisha. This experience was priceless.

Excuse Me, While I Play The Cranky Feminist

Women have always belonged to someone else in the sense that they don’t have an identity of their own. They are someone’s wife, someone’s mother or someone’s daughter, as if their very existence depends upon the relationship they share with a man. While men rarely define themselves relationally.

Even now, there are traditions that favor men over women. The one that bothers me is the surname change. Why is it that the woman has to give up her surname and take up her husband’s? Why is it that a woman is not equally responsible to continue the family legacy as a man is? It is the sexist culture that demands the surname change to happen after a woman is married.

I get it that when two people fall in love and decide to get married, thinking about changing your last name is not a concern. But your name is your identity and giving a part of it up is like diluting it in a way.

The reason many women don’t object to this is because they still think that men hold a higher position than them. Which is why I see so many girls aged eighteen giving up education and getting married. The very idea of a female giving up her education shows that our society has a long way to go to achieve equality. Because for a fact, I know there many humans out there who still pray they don’t have a female child and who think that the best they can do for their daughters is to get them married off so early that they spend the rest of their life in servitude.

I agree that many girls want to get married right from the age of fifteen, but wanting to be financially dependent on someone for the rest of your life just shows that our society is doing something wrong to give rise to such patriarchal thinking.

 It is hard to expect a man to have an objection to this because they enjoy their privileged position but women need to take a stand instead of just getting carried away into this male-dominated world.

As long as the inequality of the sexes continues, so will rape, so will dowry and so will other forms of violence against women.

TAKE A STAND.

Am I lucky?

Today a close friend of mine pointed out that I am a lucky person. I was confused at this unusual compliment because I always felt that his life was perfect and he was the lucky one not me.

But today when I got home after college, this thought revolved around my mind. I really am lucky. I have a great family, great friends, an amazing dog and financial support that lets me fulfill every want of mine. What more could I ask for?

Sure, I have problems but those too trivial to even think about in comparison to the whole lot of happiness that I’ve been handed over.

No problem in the world is big enough to snatch away your happiness. As long as you have a hand to hold, you can get through anything. And if an ungrateful human like me can realize that, anyone can.

So just have a look at your life from a third person’s perspective and notice how beautiful it is. You might not have everything that you want, but you will have everything that you need, and you will have something that puts a smile on your face.